[Roman sniffles. His plan is working well so far, but why not lay it on thick? Really make sure Victor can't be mad at him anymore.]
I just-- I just don't want to lose-- the only good person in this fucking city. [He lets his crocodile tears pour out, frantically wiping them away as if he's embarrassed of them.] I got-- got worried. About what might have happened if we weren't permanently contracted. Would you-- would you leave me?
[Laying it on thick makes Victor's heartache even more. Hasn't seen Roman like this in a while, certainly never this upset. Frowning, Victor reaches up to cup Roman's cheek and wipe some tears back.]
I haven't thought about leaving in 16 years, I'm not going to start now.
[Roman sniffles some more, leaning into Victor's touch. It feels disgusting to make himself seem weak, vulnerable, but it's the best way to ensure Victor doesn't leave him. Not like Roman thinks he could. But it's best not to test that.]
I don't tell you enough, but... I love you, Victor. [And it's true, in his own way. Victor is the only one who can make him feel like that. It's a twisted kind of love, violent and cruel, but it's love all the same.] I love you so goddamn much.
[Victor's heart breaks and burns all at once at those words. It's all he's wanted to hear, ever, every day if he could. It's why he went on the network so long ago, asking for help in how to get Roman to admit what Victor knew.
Now he says it, with tears in his eyes and a waver in his voice and Victor burns for him.
Having not a single idea or thought it could be a facade.]
Fuck, Roman, I love you too. God, it's why I miss you so much, I love you so fuckin' much.
Really? [Roman finally lifts his eyes toward Victor, lower lip quivering. He reaches out and tentatively places his hand on top of Victor's.] You don't hate me? Not even after... what I did?
No, no, Roman, never. Could never hate you, doll. You-it's like we were made for each other. [Roman is really beating himself up about this. Victor hates it.]
Come on, let's- let's get you dressed and cared for.
[Roman really does believe that they were made for each other. Who else knows him like this? Who else could care for him so well? And who else is as submissive and useful as Victor? Not a damn soul on the planet.
He can't lose him.]
O-okay. Okay. [He sniffles again, wiping his nose on the back of his hand.] Thank you, Victor. I love you.
[He leans over and kisses Roman on the temple, soft and gentle. Then he leans over and, despite the bruises around his wrists, his aching lungs, and all over sore body, picks Roman up bridal style and keeps him close.]
You're welcome, doll. [He smiles softly, kissing Roman's neck. The events last night seem a distant memory, something he doesn't even put thought to as he carries Roman upstairs.]
A little stiff from sleeping on the couch, but I'll live. [Unlike him not to complain about everything even slightly inconvenient, but he thinks it'll add to his act.] Just want to be in bed with you.
Yeah? I bet, the couch is kind of an uncomfortable spot compared to the master bed, huh?
[He nuzzles Roman's neck but stops, leaning against the wall as he pants, shaking from the strain. His body still not recovered from the emotional and physical trauma last night.]
[He nods, sweating slightly. Pushing away from the wall, leaning into Roman's touch, he trudges the rest of the way into the master bedroom across the split rose petals.
Setting Roman down gently, Victor collapses beside him.]
[Roman traces little circles and patterns on Victor's chest with the tip of his finger. He cautiously tries to figure out how best to approach this; acknowledging what he did has to be done delicately, after all.]
There's no one else I'd rather be in bed with. You know that, don't you, Victor?
[His face softens slightly, watching Roman's finger dance across the scars on his chest. He wets his lips, trying to shake off the negative feelings from last night as they slowly start to come back.]
[Slowly, back and forth, his finger passes over bumpy scars. He recognizes three of them from the Keo family on Victor's left pec, but the rest are blurry. A roadmap of the years they've spent together.]
[Victor stumbles over his words, looking up at the ceiling trying to push down the odd sensation and negativity that comes. From where? He's not sure.]
I don't know why you like me. I can't seem to do anything right, my cock is too small for you, I'm shorter than you, I'm stupid...
[The sound of someone else's self-esteem crumbling is music to Roman's ears. It means he won. It means he's back in control. And now he gets to pick up the pieces that he shattered himself.]
Oh, no no no, baby... [He sits up, pursing his lips as he looks Victor's face over, cupping his cheek.] ...You're my perfect match. Sure, your cock is a little small, and you're kind of slow, but that's not your fault. Let's look at the plus side: you're obedient. You're great with a knife. Your mouth is the best in the whole damn city. And you got me to see that we belong together, married, forever. Doesn't that count for anything?
[He looks up at Roman, face craked open and raw around the edges, vulnerable as all sin beneath it. His eyes, always dark and dead things, are a bright, soft brown, warm like chocolate as he bites his bottom lip.
Clearly, he's not exactly buying the comments or he's too in doubt to accept them quite yet.]
Well, yes, but a little fire is healthy. [Roman smiles, soft, with a bit of a sharp edge to it as he bears his teeth and strokes Victor's face.] It's just a matter of containing it. I failed to contain it earlier, when you were with Dinah. [The smile falters.] That was my fault. I'll keep you honest from now on, baby, and we'll be fine.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-02-23 06:38 pm (UTC)I just-- I just don't want to lose-- the only good person in this fucking city. [He lets his crocodile tears pour out, frantically wiping them away as if he's embarrassed of them.] I got-- got worried. About what might have happened if we weren't permanently contracted. Would you-- would you leave me?
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Date: 2022-02-26 04:16 am (UTC)I haven't thought about leaving in 16 years, I'm not going to start now.
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Date: 2022-02-26 04:23 am (UTC)I don't tell you enough, but... I love you, Victor. [And it's true, in his own way. Victor is the only one who can make him feel like that. It's a twisted kind of love, violent and cruel, but it's love all the same.] I love you so goddamn much.
no subject
Date: 2022-02-27 03:27 am (UTC)Now he says it, with tears in his eyes and a waver in his voice and Victor burns for him.
Having not a single idea or thought it could be a facade.]
Fuck, Roman, I love you too. God, it's why I miss you so much, I love you so fuckin' much.
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Date: 2022-02-27 03:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 04:11 am (UTC)Come on, let's- let's get you dressed and cared for.
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Date: 2022-03-02 04:18 am (UTC)He can't lose him.]
O-okay. Okay. [He sniffles again, wiping his nose on the back of his hand.] Thank you, Victor. I love you.
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Date: 2022-03-02 04:23 am (UTC)[He leans over and kisses Roman on the temple, soft and gentle. Then he leans over and, despite the bruises around his wrists, his aching lungs, and all over sore body, picks Roman up bridal style and keeps him close.]
Is this ok?
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Date: 2022-03-02 04:28 am (UTC)Just perfect, Victor.
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Date: 2022-03-02 04:35 am (UTC)You sore at all?
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Date: 2022-03-02 04:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 04:50 am (UTC)We’ll stay in bed a little longer, yeah? How’s that sound?
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Date: 2022-03-02 04:54 am (UTC)I'd like that. I... didn't sleep well last night.
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Date: 2022-03-02 05:00 am (UTC)[He nuzzles Roman's neck but stops, leaning against the wall as he pants, shaking from the strain. His body still not recovered from the emotional and physical trauma last night.]
Sorry- Need to catch my breath.
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Date: 2022-03-02 05:03 am (UTC)You're strong, Victor. I know you are.
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Date: 2022-03-02 05:11 am (UTC)Setting Roman down gently, Victor collapses beside him.]
There- you okay?
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Date: 2022-03-02 05:27 am (UTC)[Roman curls up and rests his head on Victor's chest, sighing. He likes the feeling. Likes knowing Victor is there for him, always.]
And you...?
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Date: 2022-03-03 04:25 am (UTC)[He answers honestly, pulling Roman close and onto his chest. He wraps his arms around Roman, kissing his forehead.]
Better now that you're in bed with me.
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Date: 2022-03-03 04:42 am (UTC)There's no one else I'd rather be in bed with. You know that, don't you, Victor?
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Date: 2022-03-05 02:40 am (UTC)I...I think I do.
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Date: 2022-03-05 02:53 am (UTC)[Slowly, back and forth, his finger passes over bumpy scars. He recognizes three of them from the Keo family on Victor's left pec, but the rest are blurry. A roadmap of the years they've spent together.]
no subject
Date: 2022-03-05 05:07 am (UTC)[Victor stumbles over his words, looking up at the ceiling trying to push down the odd sensation and negativity that comes. From where? He's not sure.]
I don't know why you like me. I can't seem to do anything right, my cock is too small for you, I'm shorter than you, I'm stupid...
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Date: 2022-03-10 05:46 am (UTC)Oh, no no no, baby... [He sits up, pursing his lips as he looks Victor's face over, cupping his cheek.] ...You're my perfect match. Sure, your cock is a little small, and you're kind of slow, but that's not your fault. Let's look at the plus side: you're obedient. You're great with a knife. Your mouth is the best in the whole damn city. And you got me to see that we belong together, married, forever. Doesn't that count for anything?
no subject
Date: 2022-03-10 05:57 am (UTC)Clearly, he's not exactly buying the comments or he's too in doubt to accept them quite yet.]
'M not that obedient...you know that's a lie.
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Date: 2022-03-10 06:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
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