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meowww

Leave a fuckin' message.

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From:

ewwww

[When Victor wakes up, it's to a sea of red.

Not blood. Not gore. Flowers. Roses, full-bodied and beautiful, decorating every corner of their bedroom. Every bit of space on dressers and bedside tables. Every windowsil. Almost every inch of floor.

Next to the bed, propped up against one of the white vases of red flowers, sits a note.]

Victor,

While you were out, I've been thinking. Thinking about us. About our relationship. About who we are when we're with each other.

I thought long and hard, and I think I figured it out. You're better off without me. Dinah, Harley, they're all right. No matter what I do, it's not enough. I'll always hurt you in the end. I'll never be the man you deserve.

I just hope you can forgive me for what I've done. Because, if we're being honest? I'm not myself if I don't have you with me. If I don't know that I'm the only one you want. It's why I hurt you so bad, I... I don't know how to do anything else.

I won't begrudge you if you have to leave. I just hope you'll talk to me first. Give me the decency of getting to kiss your lips goodbye one final time.

I support you, Victor. I do. It's why I gifted you the shop. You can still run it if we... I mean, I don't know what recourse there is with our contract being permanent, but. I'll take care of you, no matter what you do.

Because I love you, Victor Zsasz. I'm sorry for ever putting it into doubt, but I love you more than anything.

I hope one day that might be enough.

-RBS

From:

meowww

[Magical, that’s the first thing that comes to Victor’s head when he finally wakes up. His room looks like someone came in here and performed an impossible trick. He gapes at the flowers, rubs his eyes and swallows past his dry lump in his throat.

The pain is there and it hits as he looks at the door. Wincing, the memories start to come back.

Then he sees the note, and the pain buzzes in the back of his head. Picking it up, he falls quiet and reads over it. The more he reads that harder his heart pounds in his chest. Pain becomes a distant thought a more important, pertinent one taking its place. ]

Roman!

[Victor shouts. He stumbles out of bed, scattering the nearby roses. He moves to the pathway, tripping over his numb feet as he screams into the apartment.]

Roman? Roman where are you?

From:

ewwww

[Three, two, one...

There it is.

The sound of Roman's plan paying off. At least, he thinks that's what the frantic jolt in Victor's voice is all about. He supposes he'll find out.

He stretches out in his position on the couch, all done up in a bedrobe like that's where he's been sleeping. He actually spent last night in the guest bedroom as theirs was being done over with roses, but Victor doesn't need to know that.]

Victor...? [His voice starts out quiet, tentative, before he gets a little louder.] Victor, the living room...

From:

meowww

[He hears Roman and he bolts toward the living room.

Barely catching himself on the railing, he looks down into the living room. Sees Roman curled up on the couch and his heart aches.]

Roman-

[He says, relieved and starts hurrying down the stairs.]

I saw- you didn’t- what are you doing down here?

From:

ewwww

[Roman isn't very practiced in making himself look pathetic. He prefers the opposite. But it's easy to forego taking all his makeup off so that some liner is still smudged around the edges. It's easy to let his hair fall out of place and his stubble get a quarter of an inch longer. It's easy to slip away from an unresponsive husband to sleep somewhere else.]

I thought you-- I-- I'd be crowding you. [He carefully doesn't meet Victor's eyes as he speaks.] Didn't want to-- to hurt you.

From:

meowww

What? No, fuck-

[The horror and nightmarish turmoil from the day (night?) before vanishes at the sight of Roman. He looks, to Victor, miserable and a far cry from the normal picture-perfect persona he displays all hours of the day. The fact that he doesn't look at him, keeps his voice soft in combination with the note upstairs is all horrifyingly wrong.

Nearly tripping over himself, he rushes over to the side of the couch, crouching down beside it to look up at Roman.]

What was all that, leaving a note upstairs and staying down here, for?

From:

ewwww

It's about what it said. [Roman's stuffy voice seems on the edge of tears.] I'm a terrible husband, aren't I? So I should just leave you alone.

From:

meowww

No, no, who the fuck said that? [He squeezes Roman's knee.] Come on, look at me doll, you're not terrible.

From:

ewwww

Everyone's always saying it. You've heard them. [Roman wrinkles his nose.] "Roman doesn't love you, he only cares about himself," blah blah blah. They'll use this, too. They'll say I did it because I hate you, because I'm the worst person in the city-- Just like always.

From:

meowww

That’s fuckin- you know that’s bullshit. When the hell did you start giving a shit about what all those losers say anyway? Come on, doll, don’t let them get to you like that.

From:

ewwww

[Roman sniffles. His plan is working well so far, but why not lay it on thick? Really make sure Victor can't be mad at him anymore.]

I just-- I just don't want to lose-- the only good person in this fucking city. [He lets his crocodile tears pour out, frantically wiping them away as if he's embarrassed of them.] I got-- got worried. About what might have happened if we weren't permanently contracted. Would you-- would you leave me?

From:

meowww

[Laying it on thick makes Victor's heartache even more. Hasn't seen Roman like this in a while, certainly never this upset. Frowning, Victor reaches up to cup Roman's cheek and wipe some tears back.]

I haven't thought about leaving in 16 years, I'm not going to start now.

From:

ewwww

[Roman sniffles some more, leaning into Victor's touch. It feels disgusting to make himself seem weak, vulnerable, but it's the best way to ensure Victor doesn't leave him. Not like Roman thinks he could. But it's best not to test that.]

I don't tell you enough, but... I love you, Victor. [And it's true, in his own way. Victor is the only one who can make him feel like that. It's a twisted kind of love, violent and cruel, but it's love all the same.] I love you so goddamn much.

From:

meowww

[Victor's heart breaks and burns all at once at those words. It's all he's wanted to hear, ever, every day if he could. It's why he went on the network so long ago, asking for help in how to get Roman to admit what Victor knew.

Now he says it, with tears in his eyes and a waver in his voice and Victor burns for him.

Having not a single idea or thought it could be a facade.]

Fuck, Roman, I love you too. God, it's why I miss you so much, I love you so fuckin' much.

From:

ewwww

Really? [Roman finally lifts his eyes toward Victor, lower lip quivering. He reaches out and tentatively places his hand on top of Victor's.] You don't hate me? Not even after... what I did?

From:

meowww

No, no, Roman, never. Could never hate you, doll. You-it's like we were made for each other. [Roman is really beating himself up about this. Victor hates it.]

Come on, let's- let's get you dressed and cared for.

From:

ewwww

[Roman really does believe that they were made for each other. Who else knows him like this? Who else could care for him so well? And who else is as submissive and useful as Victor? Not a damn soul on the planet.

He can't lose him.]

O-okay. Okay. [He sniffles again, wiping his nose on the back of his hand.] Thank you, Victor. I love you.

From:

meowww

I love you too, doll.

[He leans over and kisses Roman on the temple, soft and gentle. Then he leans over and, despite the bruises around his wrists, his aching lungs, and all over sore body, picks Roman up bridal style and keeps him close.]

Is this ok?

From:

ewwww

[Roman nods. A little smile spreads over his lips as he wraps his arms around Victor's neck.]

Just perfect, Victor.

From:

meowww

You're welcome, doll. [He smiles softly, kissing Roman's neck. The events last night seem a distant memory, something he doesn't even put thought to as he carries Roman upstairs.]

You sore at all?

From:

ewwww

A little stiff from sleeping on the couch, but I'll live. [Unlike him not to complain about everything even slightly inconvenient, but he thinks it'll add to his act.] Just want to be in bed with you.

From:

meowww

Course, doll. [He kisses his cheek again, soft.]

We’ll stay in bed a little longer, yeah? How’s that sound?

From:

ewwww

[Roman nods with a smile.]

I'd like that. I... didn't sleep well last night.

From:

meowww

Yeah? I bet, the couch is kind of an uncomfortable spot compared to the master bed, huh?

[He nuzzles Roman's neck but stops, leaning against the wall as he pants, shaking from the strain. His body still not recovered from the emotional and physical trauma last night.]

Sorry- Need to catch my breath.